Saturday, August 21, 2010

Why is it that in general, military couples tend to get married and have kids very young?

like 18, 19, 20. I'm not saying all do this, but many do! I have friends who are children of people in the military and that's the case with them more often than not.Why is it that in general, military couples tend to get married and have kids very young?
Why not, what's wrong with it? It's been that way for centuries.Why is it that in general, military couples tend to get married and have kids very young?
I was in the AF for 8 years. I went in right out of high school I was only 17. It was my first time away from home and it was scary! I got married when I was 18. I was lonely and thought I could start my own family and I would be OK. Instead we ended up getting divorced 18 months latter. I really think this is the reason why military couples have such a high rate of divorce. They just get married to young. But I give props to those that manage to make it last!!
Because being in the military makes them be in dangerous places all the time so they want to have a family before they die or if they do. They don't want to leave their wives alone, i guess. But it would just cause more hurt. hmmm im not sure.
bc u never know when one of them is gonna die. n u get better benefits n housing
My husband is military and I am former military. We got married at 21. I think to answer your question you have to look at the difference in a civilian at 20 years old and a service member at 20 years old.





A normal civilian at age 20 is either in college or working their first serious job, or even still living with Mom %26amp; Dad. They probably are into the ';party'; scene, are somewhat immature, and not sure of what they want in life... and even if they know, they are not yet in a stable career, financially stable, or fully independent from Mom %26amp; Dad.





A military service member at age 20 probably entered the service at 18, and has cut the apron strings 2 years ago. The military has taught them to manage finances, they have lived alone, had huge responsibilies thrust at them, have a career promised to them for as long as they want it, and have many educational opportunities to better themselves and their careers. In short, they have been forced to ';enter the real world'; and grow up very quickly.





I think had I still been in college at 21, I would have still been going to frat parties and skipping classes and been in short term relationships. But instead, at 21, I had a serious career, grown-up responsibilities and I was more mature and ready for that next thing in my life. And our two kids quickly followed... I think that comes from the wife's desire for companionship all those days without her husband. At least that was the case for me. And we were definitely ready for the responsibility. Also, as a previous poster mentioned, pay increases and health care is provided.
At 20 I was marrying a military. Maybe we would of waited longer in a normal situation but he was being transferred 2000 miles away and girlfriends don`t get to follow only wives. We (the wives) have to quit our jobs, leave our family and friends behind and often we end up on remote bases alone all day long while hubby is working and making new buddies at work.....we have a lot of time on our hands to think about babies.
haha thats a good question. Im 19, and my fiance and I(who is in the army) are expecting our first child, but hes on deployment for the next year or so...our little boy will be 7 mos old when he gets back. We have different relationships than you regular people. Its the hardest type there is, they can be here one year, gone for the next 2, you never know when you will see them. We are ';intimate'; every chance we get. Not like civilian couples who see each other and sometimes dont even have time for sex or are tired of looking at each other. We treasure EVERY moment, and if kids are a product of that, then so be it! why do you care?
They do NOT realize the demands of the military before they do this or else they'd wait.
I think that there a few reasons why this happens.


Reason one: When a young person, man or woman, joins the military, they are thrown into adult situations that they may not have encountered before, most likely having a stable job, a paycheck that comes monthly/bimonthly regardless, and like most youngsters that go off to college, they are away from home probably for the first time and in their spare time are completely free to do whatever they choose with their money. Those young men and women that join the military now have not necessarily a TON of money to play around with, but they have a lot, and it gives them a sense that they are 'a real adult' and can do what real adults that have careers can do- anything from purchasing cars to staying out and racking up hundreds of dollars in bar bills and credit card bills. With that comes some possibly dumb decisions- having unprotected sex with other young people, whether townies, your high school sweetheart, college students, or other military members. And, now that one of you has a stable job and the military teaches you about honor and commitment, people who find themselves in the real situation of becoming pregnant now have a sense that they can not only handle a baby (because they are now an 'adult') but they can also provide, because they have that stable job, housing and medical care is provided. Also, when you're young and you're put into life and death situations, why wouldn't you want to have your love around you and provided for if something should happen? That's not to say that marriage isn't founded on love and the want to be with that person. But, if you're stationed in Japan, your girlfriend isn't going to be able to come with you. And, that happens- people get married to have each other around.


Reason Two (and probably the more likely of the two): People are stupid. Not that having a child is stupid, but because of all the reasons I've stated above, people feel at 18/19/20/21 that they are adults, they have a career, they have money, why the hell not get married? And then, some women are like, well now that I'm married, I don't have to prevent pregnancy anymore- and that is the truth. Men and women stop protecting themselves against pregnancy once they are married. To me, that's a dumb decision.
Maybe they feel secure with all the ready benefits they get.The travel is usually inevitable,so why wait on house,good schools,and a neighborhood.Gung Ho.
Its different when your in the military. I like to think of it as you are about 10 years ahead of your peers in terms of maturity and financial responsibilty. When you get married in the military you are automatically given a house on base or your pay is increased so you can afford a house off base. Also you get free health and dental insurance. Not to say it is easier but the military looks out for your familiy they try to take as much care of you as possible. Its alot harder for someone who is 18, 19 or 20 and they have to do worry about all the above things on their own.
Quite simple, as chaotic as Military life is and the fact that you usually are a long way from home you need stability. A wife and if you have kids provide atleast the illusion of stability. I was in the Navy when I married my wife, I was 20 she was 19, next month we celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary.
Good question!





My cousin is having his 3rd child and he is only 23 years old!





I think it is because they are away for so long that the couple's passion gets stored up and they do nothing but make love when they are together.





Plus, guys/girls in the military seem to possess a maturity that most younger people lack! That makes them more able to accept major responsibility!
because your girlfriend can't transfer with you, but your wife can. plus you get paid more if you have dependants via housing, health benefits etc...

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